Re-Read It

There is nothing like picking up a new book and breathing it in. Literally. On the rare occasion I buy a new book, I will take a long sniff before even cracking the cover. The papery scent holds a hint of what is to come. You should try it sometime; it's very orgasmic, very soul filling. Truly, there is nothing like the promise of a new book.

That said, I haven't started a new book in months--not to mean that I have not been reading. There are a select handful of worn books that I have read one, two, three hundred times.  Books that I turn to when bored, nervous, or content. Books I have read and reread so much and so often that I don't usually bother to begin at the beginning. Sometimes water-stained, sometimes yellowed, sometimes tattered, but always beautiful, these books are dear friends who have inspired me again and again at different stages in life.

Especially now in the face of new challenge, I find myself seeking comfort in old friends. Maniac Magee encourages me to see beyond black and white, The Watsons help me believe in miracles, Guy Montag shows me what's important. Like my best friends, they inspire me to reflect on my own values and remind me that the simplest moments--a trip to Chicago, dinner with a welcoming family, an evening walk--can gain and carry so much meaning through the years.

Transition

Have you ever felt that time is alternately crawling at a snail's pace but in the same breath flying by so quickly you can't seem to make heads or tails of where the days went? As I sit exhausted and cranky, my life haphazardly crammed in a dozen Dole Banana boxes, I find myself wishing I could rewind and replay the last two years in slow motion. I want to go on a ghost tour in Scotland and climb another snow-capped mountain in Lijiang. I want to recapture the feeling of comfort and family in Shanghai, and to repeat the thrill of a city illuminated by 烟花. I want to gossip with my coworkers, drink taro milk tea on the Bund, and spend lazy afternoons shopping with my mother.

Nothing lasts forever--I should know this as well as anyone by now. But Change always has its way of creeping up and startling me. I looked in the mirror this morning and found another freckle. I'm not going anywhere, it seemed to say, I'm here to stay. Tomorrow is the beginning of an odyssey that will change my life, and I am feeling very small indeed.