@BPGlobalPR

                                        From Greenpeace's BP Rebranding Contest

BPGlobalPR: The good news: Mermaids are real. The bad news: They are now extinct.#bpcares

A few weeks ago, someone started a satiric BP Public Relations account on Twitter to get a few laughs at BP’s expense, as well as to raise money for cleaning up the spill. That’s a win-win in my book!

Other funny tweets:

BPGlobalPR: Oh man, this whole time we've been trying to stop SEAWATER from gushing into our OIL. Stupid Terry was holding the diagram upside down

BPGlobalPR: The ocean looks just a bit slimmer today. Dressing it in black really did the trick!

BPGlobalPR: We just saw a shark fight an octopus inside the geyser. Almost made this whole thing worth it

Employee Benefits

I always got excited hearing about employee benefits—they paint such a rosy picture of corporate life. Google employees have a pool and free haircuts, GM gives out company cars, and even my cousin who works at Boston Consulting Group gets to play Wii at the office. The company I work for mostly sells plastic pellets.

It’s a sore point for me that employees don’t get free bags of plastic pellets.

Because we also make the aspartame they put in Diet Coke, about our only company perk is that we have 200 crates of Diet Coke hoarded in our backroom. So, like everyone else in my office, I drink 3 cans a day, mostly out of boredom, and have an ‘asparterrific’ headache by quitting time.

If Rembrandt drank Diet

How To Be Cool

I found this online and laughed so hard. I think I need to make up my own 'cool list' one of these days...things like "Stop talking to yourself outloud" and "Stop eating Cheetos."

‘Tis the Voice of a Lobster

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here.
~Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

I recently watched Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (on bootleg, as one does in China) and while I wasn’t exactly dissatisfied, I did feel a mounting sense of disappointment that peaked at the end when *spoiler* Alice starts up the Opium War.

Alice on the way to introduce English trade to China.

Tim Burton complained in an interview that he was forced to give the movie more plot because Lewis Carroll’s books were comprised of a ‘random disorganized series of events.’ I’m sorry, but condemning ‘Alices Adventures in Wonderland’ for being disorganized is a bit like criticizing the Mad Hatter for being mad—his madness is what makes him wonderful.

I want this tattoo

As a kid, I didn’t like Alice in Wonderland. It baffled me, possibly for the same reason it befuddled Tim Burton. Then, last year at a used bookstore in Munich, I found a battered copy of Lewis’ Alice books and, desperate to read something not written in German, bought it for 5 Euros. I read it on the train back to Leipzig and loved it. I’m sure that part of the reason I liked it so much was simply that it was in English; then again, I also think that I’m one of those people who has gotten more whimsical and ridiculous as I’ve grown older. My imagination is pretty constantly scuttling amok. When I’m not actively daydreaming, I’m creating philanthropic wizardry organizations complete with photoshopped advertisements and carefully composed introductions. Of which I’m sure the Hatter would approve, as it is pretty much the epitome of madness.

Wizards Without Borders

Pictured Above: Founding Members Amadea Potter, Allison Granger, and ‘Con’ Weasley.

Wizards Without Borders is an international magical humanitarian organization working in more than 60 countries to assist Muggles whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or Dementor attack. Wizards and witches volunteer to provide urgent magical care to Muggles in need, assisting with the removal of boggarts, slaying of basilisks, and eviction of Grindylow swarms. Our volunteers all have significant experience in a variety of magical conflicts, from fighting rogue trolls to defeating the Dark Lord.

(WWB also specializes in the breeding and trade of Blast-Ended Skrewts)

WizardsWithoutBorders is currently partnered with ClownsWithoutBorders (http://clownswithoutborders.org/) and JediWithoutBorders (website under construction).